After a whole week of ZERO inspiration for training or dancing I finally did something meaningful to me. I danced freely for myself and I like what I’m seeing for the first time in my life!
This may not sound like a big deal. But for someone like me who’d love to be able to move freely and isn’t usually happy with the results, this was a moment of epiphany!
It’s the first time that I’m showing it to someone. I never shared my freestyles with anyone before because they weren’t good enough. And to be completely honest, I don’t want to have anything online that I’m not proud of.
I’m also sharing it because I think I know what I was doing wrong all the time. Again, this worked for me. I hope that my small but meaningful breakthrough could be helpful for you as well. Here’s how it went:
I’d usually put on one song and I’d dance once, rarely for the whole song. I’d feel uncomfortable and awkward during the dance. I’d check the recordings if I’m filming and I wouldn’t like what I’m seeing. I experienced it similar this time.
The 1st try:
I put on this awesome song that I planned for the Outside Forearm Combo and that really makes me wanna move. But I felt stuck again after 40s. It wasn’t because I didn’t know what to do next. I could move all the time. It was because it didn’t feel good.
I didn’t feel comfortable. I wasn’t sure if I feel pretty or sexy. I stopped and thought: „It can’t be good, if it doesn’t feel good!“
I checked the recordings anyway and I didn’t like 98% of what I was seeing.
I took a little break to digest my frustration and figure out what to do next.
I checked the recordings again. I saw that there were 1-2 good moves.
I watched again… Ok, there were 2-3 good moves.
The 2nd try:
Now, I’ll usually stop and give up here. But I decided to repeat it and do more of these „good moves”.
This went better than expected. It was still shaky here and there, but I felt like I was into something with these moves and continued playing with them.
I realized that moving and isolating my hips, as well as playing with the snaky arms is something I’ve always enjoyed. Probably because of the tribal fusion ballet dance classes I used to take a while ago. Or probably because I’m a woman and I like shaking my hips. lol So, I was focusing on making them bigger, wavier, sexyer.
The 3rd try:
This encouraged me to try a 3rd time. And a 4th time. And each time it was a different freestyle but in the same kind of style that I was slowly getting comfortable with.
I checked the recordings again – I was starting to like what I’m seeing. Even though it’s not perfect, I’m proud of what came out with so less preparation, thinking and repeating than usual.
1. It’s normal to feel uncomfortable and awkward, but it’s no reason for frustration. I can’t tell you if the awkwardness will go away completely one day, but I think I know better now how to work with it. It’s a process!
2. My biggest mistake until now was that I got discouraged by this uncomfortable feeling and I gave up after the first try. This only left a bad taste in my mouth. I never considered repeating my freestyles to the same song before. For me this was the big difference between disliking myself and enjoying myself.
3. If you’re filming yourself, watch the video a couple of times. Focus on the “good moves” that you see, analyze them and start playing with them right away. This will give you something to focus on. Generally, always focus on one thing at a time.
So here’s me, just moving and for the first time REALLY enjoying it.
I decided to share the third run-through. Unfortunately I screwed up the Outside Forearm combo in this take, so I had to edit it. The combo is the only thing that wasn’t a freestyle, I practiced it in advance.
P.S.: What’s your experience with freestyling? I’m curious.
P.P.S.: I was also inspired for sharing my freestyle experience by a Skype conversation I had with one of my readers. Thanks so much to all of you for inspiring me!